Fuck buddies
Having a 'fuck buddy' suits some people perfectly; recreational sex with no heavy love stuff going on. But can it work for you?
When it works
If it's what
you both want, then there's no-strings sex, without the need for the
nerve-wracking chatting up that usually leads up to a one-night stand.
If you want to get laid regularly, but don't want to commit to a heavy
relationship then it has a certain appeal. It's a very personal
decision about whether or not it's right for you.
It
can be a real thrill to have a passionate fling with someone you
wouldn't normally hang out with in everyday life for long periods of
time. Sometimes a couple have incredible sexual chemistry, but beyond
that they have little in common. The added sense of 'naughtiness'
allows some people to cut loose and play out their fantasies. Both
partners have to be very clear about what they want from having a 'fuck
buddy', and need to talk about their expectations so that there are no
misunderstandings.
When the passion burns out, if
you were good friends already, you may find you can go back to being
just mates and closer ones at that, however sometimes one of you will
be too weirded out and you'll lose them completely as a result.
When it doesn't work
If
it's two people who like and respect one another, then it can work very
well. However, often one person is in love with the other one and hides
their true feelings, or falls in love during the relationship. If
either of you are going to sleep with other people while keeping a fuck
buddy then be honest about it, otherwise there is a strong possibility
of someone feeling jealous, betrayed, or having their sexual health put
at risk.
Some people who go on about being a fuck
buddy are just a bit selfish, or too immature to commit to a
relationship. If the relationship quickly becomes one-sided, or you
start to feel used, then it's time to knock it on the head, no matter
how good the sex may feel.
Test of time
It
is often impossible to turn this situation into a regular relationship,
if that's what you eventually decide that you want, but it does work
out sometimes. What usually happens, though, is that the intensity of
the sex eventually burns itself out - and you both find that you've got
nothing to talk about. But at least nobody will have a broken heart if
you stick to the ground rules.
