Your Sexual Past - Does your sexual past bother or make your boyfriend jealous?
The very last thing most boyfriends want is to think about another guy having been with his girlfriend - whether we're talking about sex or just hooking up. Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy.
Have you had a checkered sexual history that's filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept if he wants to be in a realtionship with you. Logic would demand this.
Firstly, don't allow someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it's ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on.
He must accept you for all that you are and likewise you him. If he's chosen to be with you, he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn't mean he has to like your sexual history, but it means he can't hold it against you. It's completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past. Otherwise what is he doing with you?
If he's constantly bringing up your past you MUST tell him flat out that he's going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has three choices:
a) You both have a sit down and have an open dialogue THIS ONCE about your past to get it out of the way. DO NOT GET INTO THE INITMATE SEXUAL DETAILS. Ever! If he is already jealous and bothered, his could push him over the edge.
b) You two break up. The end.
c) You two stay together...but he can never mention your sexual past ever again if it's a problem with him. Never. Not even when you two are fighting.
Learn from your mistakes and move on. The few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you've chosen to change your "free loving" ways or an eronious past, you're doing the right thing and that's what matters most. On the other hand, if you’ve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical and obsessive person.
Dean - Webmaster @ Fukked.com
Also the Director, writer, editor and arts director for Date Magazine Australia for 2002-2005 street press magazine
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